Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Marriage 101 Book Review (BookLook Bloggers)

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I review for BookLook Bloggers

I read Marriage 101, in exchange for honest review from Book Look Bloggers. The book was written by Shawn Ward.

I wanted to read this book as a tool for when I get married again. First marriage had its problems. Many I do not want to see again or repeat in any relationship. I started the book reading the chapter on divorced, widowed, children, step children, parents, step parents. I think this was the last chapter.

First thing, which stood out, was when a person marries someone with kids, they make a covenant with both the spouse and the kids. For me, I couldn't stand my stepkids. They didn't do anything wrong, but I was 19 and was under the assumption for most of the relationship and engagement, my ex did not have kids. Then, a few times during the marriage, the ex compared me to his older kids mother, based on sexual experiences (which caused many nightmares). I had limited experience when I met him. The ex was 5 years older, so he had more. If the kids came over, I acted out of obligation versus love. If they was hungry, they got fed.  Other than that, limited interaction. Doesn't help I am an introvert too. I admit I was glad I worked on a few times, they was visiting.

The book said that even though we have no biological bond to God, we are still his children. He still loves us and takes care of us. He is a big part of our lives. If God's love can bridge a gap, we can bridge a gap between relatives, whether biological or not.

As I got older and had my own kids, I realized, I would want my future husband to interact with the kids. I can't do this alone. Maturity set in.

The chapter after that, discussed how husbands/wifes need importance in our lives. Sometimes the spouses put the kids first and block out the person, they married. I thought about how my kids will take center stage a lot. The meltdowns, the tantrums, the breath-holding spells, the doctor appointments, the calls from school, the ARD/IEP meetings, at times will take priority over the spouse. The kids will require lifelong care as well. Ward said spouses should be put first and made to feel first.

Finally, I will discuss the chapter on a house being out of order. My former marriage was out of order. I have no clue why us two got married in the first place. So many red flags. So many things ignored before and during the marriage.

One of the first ways, a marriage can be out of order, is allowing the wife to influence the husband to stray from his God-given duties. The book gave the example of Moses, who did not circumcise his son. One cause may have been his wife may not have wanted him to. Moses knew it was right to circumcise his son, but chose a different path. Adam also ate the apple, following behind Eve.

Parents also have a responsibility to teach their kids about God. If not, Ward called this neglect. Your house is out of order. One of the main reasons, I found a church home in Houston was for my kids to know God, in their own way. When I had moved back to Texas, I had no desire to go to my mother's church. It's not a bad church, but it wasn't for me anymore. I spent Sundays watching the Church of Evangelistic Television. I loved Joel Osteen and Kerry Shook. Once, I got preggie with Kalen and Brad moved to Texas, I had to find a church home, more so for them, than me.

You can purchase the book on Amazon in Kindle and paperback format. The book is prime-eligible.

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Please leave a comment. Thank you. Stacie