Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Dating and the Single Parent by Ron L. Deal

Dating and the Single Parent Review by Ron L. Deal

I received this book, in exchange for review from Bethany House. I read Dating and the Single Parent within the last week and I truly enjoyed this book. I didn’t read the book from the beginning, but started at chapters most relevant to me. I chose this book because one day I want to date, but I need to date the right way, versus may way. I also have two special kids, which adds additional challenges to dating.

The first section, which stood out was Appendix 2, the sample purity pledge. I am currently celibate. Some days I want to date, but I need to date within God’s guidelines. The book listed activities for dating couples to engage in, such as light kissing and hugging, without being sexual or giving in to temptation. The book also discussed how couples should get a mentor to talk to, if they are tempted. Finally, the section provided bible verses, which related to sexual purity.

Next, I enjoyed the first three chapters, which discussed dating with kids and dating readiness. The book states that individuals need to have a purpose in dating. The purpose need to have God put first. The book also discussed how people are selfish in dating. Some people date to find a (wo)man for them, companionship for them; love for them, but neglect to think about how the (wo)man will affect their kids. How will this person influence the kids? If a man is willing to date me and my two kids, I should consider how he will affect me, as well as them. His influence can affect their lives for eternity, which is why the couples should share similar spiritual beliefs (p. 31).

People also need to determine if they are truly ready to date. Individuals need to look at past dating patterns. Have you matured and learned from those relationships OR are you still stuck doing the same thing (p. 33). Do you trust God the same, more, or less during relationships? Do you put God to the side when dating? Do your mate believe in God? Can you trust the person? How does he treat the kids? How do the kids treat him? All of these questions need to be answered when pursuing a Christian-Godly-based relationship.

Other things which stood out in the book:
Not rushing dating or marriage. Take your time to get to know the person. Stay true to your purpose. Get to know them on a mental, instead of a physical level.
Trust in God to manage the relationship.
In many cases, the kids and the significant other will compete for attention.
Date for at least two years before considering marriage. Don’t date for at least two years after the divorce.
Discernment Discernment Discernment. If something don’t feel right, leave.
Know how your personality affects relationships.

I loved this book. The book was just what I needed right now.

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